Consume sugary foods or caffeine

Sugary snacks, chocolate, or sodas late at night cause a rapid rise in blood sugar levels, and then an inevitable crash. This blood sugar roller coaster sends adrenaline and cortisol rushing through your child’s body, causing their body to be extremely revved up. It makes it very difficult for your child’s body to relax into a sleepy state.

Caffeine (found in soda, iced tea and even chocolate) can remain in your child’s system for up to six hours, interfering with the brain’s sleepy signals.

Use screens or watch TV

The blue light that is produced by smartphones, tablets, TVs and gaming devices reduces the brain’s secretion of melatonin. This is the hormone that tells your body that it is time to sleep.

Screen time also includes fast-moving images and two-way stimulation that overstimulate a child’s immature central nervous system. Pediatricians recommend turning off ALL screens at least one hour, better yet two, before bedtime.

Engage in high-intensity physical play

Although exercise throughout the day helps children sleep soundly, bouncing on trampolines or engaging in active indoor games before bedtime stimulates your child’s metabolism when it should be winding down.

Exercise produces heat, increases heart rate, and releases endorphins. For your child to fall asleep, his or her core body temperature must decrease.

Do heavy homework or complex problem-solving

Homework, cramming, or trying to solve challenging problems right before bed can put our brains into cognitive overload and anxiety.

Trying to force your child to do hard math problems or stressful homework before bed can keep their brain engaged in problem-solving mode when it should be shutting down. Aim to complete school-related work earlier in the evening.

Consume large meals or excessive fluids

Eating a large, fatty meal immediately before bedtime means digestive juices are actively working while your child is trying to sleep. Additionally, children may experience heartburn or stomachaches when lying down after eating too much.

Alternatively, drinking excessive amounts of water, milk, or juice before bedtime means your child will undoubtedly wake up during the night to use the bathroom or experience a bedwetting episode that disrupts sleep cycles.

Watch or read scary or intense media

Kids have active imaginations. Their understanding of fantasy vs. reality becomes blurred when they are tired. Viewing violent news reports, scary movies, or suspenseful stories before bedtime can increase emotional stimulation and anxiety.

They experience fears of the dark, trouble falling asleep without a parent nearby, or chronic nightmares.

Have emotional discussions or serious discipline

Bedtime is not the appropriate time to discipline your child for something that happened earlier in the day, administer consequences, or have intense family discussions. Doing these things raises your child’s cortisol levels and makes them feel unsafe or emotionally distressed while trying to sleep in the dark.

Wait to have any discipline or serious discussions until earlier in the day so that bedtime can be your child’s calm, safe wind-down time.

Take long or excessively hot baths

Although soaking in a nice warm bath can be an excellent addition to a bedtime routine, taking an excessively long and extremely hot bath immediately before bed can have the opposite effect.

Immersion in hot water causes the core body temperature to spike. This causes problems when children want to fall asleep because the body struggles to lower its temperature to the optimal sleeping temperature.

Spend time in bright, overhead light

Bright indoor light fools your child’s circadian rhythm into thinking it is still daytime. This bright light can stall melatonin production. Avoid turning off overhead lights, bright bathroom lights or hallway lamps until ready for bed.

Bright lights keep your child’s nervous system aroused. Turn down the lights in the whole house one hour before bed.

Skip their predictable wind-down routine

Kids love structure and their nervous systems crave cues when it’s time to wake up and go to sleep. When we skip a calm routine like putting on pajamas, brushing teeth and reading a peaceful book, we are creating chaos.

Your child’s body clock gets mixed signals about when it needs to shut down for the night. If your bedtime routine is rushed and stressful, your child will resist more and experience anxiety.

Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.

1. Late bedtime combined with more screen time before bed increases the risk of obesity and lowers diet quality in Spanish children
2. Helping children sleep
3. Parents’ strategies and advice for creating a positive sleep situation in the family

She excludes others on purpose

It’s normal for kids to have one or two best friends. But if your daughter consistently ostracizes classmates to make them feel unwanted or unwelcome, that crosses the line. Whether she leaves them out of games at recess, birthday celebrations, lunch spots, or group chats to punish them or elevate her standing, it’s relational bullying.

She enjoys gossip

Sharing information about others can indicate a desire for power. Does your daughter like to talk about everyone else’s business? If she spreads rumors, or tells secrets that were shared with her privately, she may be attempting to manipulate others through gossip. Tattling or sharing partially true stories to embarrass someone else can ruin friendships and reputation.

She makes fun of other people’s appearance

Friendly teasing isn’t the same thing as constantly criticizing someone about their appearance. If your daughter frequently makes remarks about another child’s weight, clothing, hairstyle, acne or other aspect of their appearance, her words can damage the other child’s self-esteem.

She is nice only when it benefits her

Some kids only choose to befriend others if they perceive them as being cool, athletic, or popular. They tend to disregard everyone else. If your daughter changes her behavior when she’s around certain people or people she thinks will let her blend in with the cool kids, she may care more about being popular rather than being kind.

She enjoys embarrassing others

Does your daughter laugh when someone is embarrassed or when she deliberately highlights another child’s errors in front of their friends? She might enjoy being the centre of attention by tearing someone else down. Public humiliation is one of the most cruel forms of bullying as it not only hurts confidence, but also reputation.

She struggles to apologize

Nobody’s perfect. But emotionally healthy kids aren’t afraid to apologize when they’ve hurt someone. If your daughter always blames others, makes excuses or refuses to apologize, she may struggle with accepting responsibility for her actions. Owning up and apologizing can help kids develop empathy and build trust and healthy relationships.

She tries to control her friendships

Healthy friendships let everyone spend time with whomever they want. If your daughter dictates to friends who they can talk to, gets mad when they’re included elsewhere, or threatens to end their friendship when they don’t pick her side, she could be trying to control others through fear instead of trusting them.

She shows little empathy

Showing very little concern for another child who is upset is another glaring sign. If your daughter mocks someone for crying, belittles another person’s feelings or doesn’t seem to comprehend how her words could hurt someone, she may need assistance learning empathy. Understanding how to recognize and value other people’s emotions is perhaps one of the most important social skills a child can learn.

She bullies through social media

Cyberbullying is bullying that happens after school hours. Posting humiliating pictures, commenting cruelly, excluding others from group chats on purpose or urging others to cyberattack someone are forms of bullying. Cyberbullying should be treated like bullying that occurs in real life.

She constantly competes with other girls

Healthy competition can motivate kids to give their best effort. But working all the time to one-up, criticize or tear down other girls isn’t the same thing. If your daughter can’t praise another kid for an accomplishment without adding negative commentary or inserting herself in the picture, she may view friendships as competitions rather than partnerships

She believes the rules don’t apply to her

Children who believe they can do no wrong or deserve special privileges often have a hard time respecting others’ feelings and boundaries. If your daughter frequently breaks rules, demands exceptions for herself, or gets upset when called out on her behavior, she could have a sense of entitlement. Accountability is something kids need to learn in order to grow up respectful.

She enjoys creating friendship drama

Kids can sometimes seek out conflict simply because they like the attention they receive. Does your daughter incite arguments, share different versions of events with different friends, or pit her friends against each other? She may be trying to cause trouble so that she can remain the focus of everyone’s attention.

Her friendships are volatile and short-lived

Children argue with their friends from time to time. But if your child routinely breaks up with her “best friend,” fights with classmates or runs from one friend circle to the next because of unnecessary drama, she may have poor self-esteem. Ongoing issues with fighting, testing loyalties, and screaming match endings will prevent her from learning how to have healthy relationships.

She says hurtful things and calls them jokes

“It was just a joke” is often used as an excuse for making a hurtful remark. If your daughter repeatedly makes cruel comments then laughs when someone gets hurt, she may be trying to hide behind humor. Teach her that if the other person isn’t laughing, it probably wasn’t funny.

She measures people entirely by material things

If your daughter routinely judges other kids based on what they’re wearing, what shoes they have, what kind of phone they own, how much money their parents make or what brand-name items they have, she could have an unhealthy focus on material things. In time, she’ll begin disregarding important qualities like kindness, honesty and integrity.

Not learning basic French

We didn’t worry too much about French because we assumed everybody spoke English. Most did, but knowing a couple of basics like “bonjour” and “merci” would’ve made everything a little bit more pleasant and amicable.

Not booking museum tickets in advance

We assumed that we would be able to go straight into the Louvre. It was a big mistake. The queue was so long it was a tourist destination in itself. We stood in it for more than an hour, and we realized the hard way: buy tickets online ahead of time.

Packing the wrong shoes

Paris streets are not forgiving. I brought cute flats that felt great for the first hour but by the time it was lunch, my feet started crying. My husband wasn’t much better off with new shoes. And believe me, broken-in, comfortable shoes are essential when travelling.

Overpacking our schedule

We tried to see everything in one trip: the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre, Montmartre, Versailles, etc. By the third day, we were tired & grumpy. The slower timeframe would’ve allowed us to really soak up the city rather than run around from place to place.

Eating at tourist traps

We ate at a restaurant near the Champs-Élysées one night because we thought it’d be “very French.” It wasn’t. Food was outrageously priced and tasted bland. We learned our lesson and made sure to look up restaurant reviews online or ask locals where to go eat.

Visiting the Eiffel Tower in the afternoon

We made the rookie error of visiting the Eiffel Tower in the middle of the day. It was packed, sweltering & frankly, disappointing. Had we gone in the morning or at night, it would have been a very different (and less anxious) experience.

Not reserving dinner tables

We assumed we could just show up at restaurants for dinner. Most places were booked solid by the time we arrived in the evenings. A few disheartening rejections later, we began making reservations, and dinner in Paris was drastically less stressful.

Overlooking smaller attractions

We were so hung up on tourist traps that we had no time for hidden attractions. A random walk in the Marais became one of the highlights of our visit. Next time, we’ll leave time to roam without a plan.

Misjudging the weather

We didn’t check the weather forecast one day and ended up stuck in a freak Montmartre rainstorm without umbrellas. And our romantic stroll turned into a soggy, cold disaster. Lesson learned, and now we always pack a travel umbrella when visiting Paris, rain or shine.

Ignoring the metro

We used taxis everywhere as the Metro was intimidating. Not only was it costly, but we also spent so much time stuck in traffic. When we finally took the Metro, we could not believe how quick and convenient it was.

Timing is everything

We traveled to Dubai in July, and it was hot. It felt like stepping into an oven every time we left the air conditioning. We had to plan all outdoor activities before 10 am or after sundown. We literally spent every afternoon cooped up in some air-conditioned building. If we went back to Dubai, we would plan our trip during November-March. It’s cooler outside, which allows you to do more activities, and there are more events happening.

Budgeting for the unexpected

We knew visiting Dubai would be expensive, but we didn’t expect the small things to catch up with us. Taxis, restaurants, and tickets to attractions were more expensive than we had anticipated. My husband is a self-proclaimed budgeting guru. He kept reminding me how easy it is to spend when you don’t watch yourself. If we knew some of these tips before going, we would’ve saved more for those random adventures and eating at restaurants off the beaten path.

Friday is different

Friday in Dubai is the same as Sunday in most other countries. We didn’t know that until we walked into a restaurant Friday morning and they were all closed. We later discovered that brunch on Friday is a massive deal in Dubai. We later joined in the tradition and had an extravagant buffet in one of the hotels. Worth every penny.

Dress modestly but comfortably

When we were planning our trip to Dubai, we focused mostly on the well-known attractions such as Burj Khalifa, the Dubai Mall, and Miracle Garden. What we didn’t expect was how much we would enjoy venturing off the beaten path. Our favourite was The Al Fahidi Historical District. We spent an afternoon getting lost in the twisting alleyways, admiring the local architecture and stumbling upon small cafes.

One night we even took a traditional dhow boat cruise along Dubai Creek and were instantly transported to a whole other Dubai before the high-rises. Don’t be fooled by the shiny malls and skyscrapers. There is plenty of culture and hidden gems to discover if you know where to look.

Exploring beyond the glitz

When we were planning our trip to Dubai, we focused mostly on the well-known attractions such as Burj Khalifa, the Dubai Mall, and Miracle Garden. What we didn’t expect was how much we would enjoy venturing off the beaten path. Our favourite was The Al Fahidi Historical District. We spent an afternoon getting lost in the twisting alleyways, admiring the local architecture and stumbling upon small cafes.

One night we even took a traditional dhow boat cruise along Dubai Creek and were instantly transported to a whole other Dubai before the high-rises. Don’t be fooled by the shiny malls and skyscrapers. There is plenty of culture and hidden gems to discover if you know where to look.

Public transport vs. taxis

We thought taking taxis would be the easiest way to explore Dubai. Sure, it’s convenient, but those prices added up quickly. We didn’t try the Metro until day three, and it was a lifesaver: super clean, cheap and fast! The metro stations are so futuristic too; they’re a sight to see!

Book in advance for popular attractions

Believe it or not, we underestimated how popular some tourist attractions are. We assumed you could buy tickets to the Burj Khalifa that day. But most of the time slots were taken because of how popular it is. From then on, we tried to book all our activities 2-3 days in advance. It saved us so much stress. If you plan on checking out the famous landmarks, don’t leave it for the last minute.

Bring an appetite for adventure

Food in Dubai was one of our biggest surprises. Whether you’re craving street food or a Michelin-starred restaurant, you can find it in Dubai. We fell in love with a hole-in-the-wall Emirati restaurant and enjoyed some local machboos and luqaimat. We even ventured out and tried some different cuisines, Indian, Japanese, etc. Dubai has it. Eat anything and everything because you probably won’t regret it!

“Shut up”

This is probably the most common thing children hear from their friends, older siblings, TV, or social media. They hear it so much that they don’t realize how rude it can sound.

Remind them to say something polite like “Please stop talking for a second” or “Can I talk?” The earlier you teach your kids to say something nicer, the better they will be at blowing off steam without offending someone.

“I can’t”

Kids often proclaim “I can’t” as soon as something is challenging, even before they try. If kids aren’t stopped in their tracks and helped to understand, they’ll use that as an excuse to avoid challenge instead of learning perseverance.

Teach kids one simple word to encourage a growth mindset: yet. “I can’t do it yet” helps kids remember that skills get better with practice.

“Stupid”

To a young child, calling someone “stupid” may just seem like innocent teasing. However, it soon teaches them to criticize people, rather than behavior. Whether they are referring to a brother or sister, schoolmate, or even themselves, using this label can hurt self-esteem and promote the use of name-calling.

Teach your child to be specific about what the problem is. Say “That wasn’t kind of you to do.” or “I didn’t like what you did.”

“I hate…”

Kids will often tell you they “hate” vegetables, homework, or siblings when they’re upset. Although they’re likely not truly saying they dislike it that intensely, using the word hate for normal inconveniences can cause trouble later on when they need to deal with their feelings.

Teach them other ways to say it. Swap “I hate it” for “I don’t like it,” “This makes me upset,” or “I’m frustrated.”

“Mine!”

While it’s perfectly acceptable for toddlers to experience a “mine” phase, as kids get older, this behavior will only promote selfishness and make sharing harder.

Children should learn to say things like, “Can I have it when you’re done?” or “Can we share?” Teaching your child patience and the value of sharing will allow them to have better friendships.

“Whatever”

Kids don’t always understand how rude the term “whatever” is. It ends conversations and lets others know they don’t respect you.

Whether it’s their parents, teachers, or another adult, teach your kids to speak nicely if they’re upset or disagree. They will need to use this people-pleasing skill for the rest of their lives.

“That’s boring”

Labeling everything from reading to chores to visiting Grandma as “boring” can stifle curiosity and prevent children from exploring new activities. From sentence construction to attitude, there are many reasons you shouldn’t let your child say this word.

Phrases like “I’d rather do something else” or “This isn’t really my favorite thing to do” lead to better communication and a more positive attitude.

“It’s not fair!”

Children often say this when they don’t get their way, but life isn’t always fair. If said too frequently, they may start believing that everything will always be favorable to them.

Rather than telling children that life is fair, parents can ask them what part wasn’t fair and explain the difference between being fair, disappointed, and denied.

“You’re mean”

Sometimes, children may label a parent as “mean” because they are setting limits, saying no, or encouraging healthy boundaries. Although this is typically out of frustration and not a sincere belief, it can become a great lesson in identifying emotions.

Prompt your child to better identify exactly how they feel by saying, “I feel disappointed,” “I feel angry,” or “I wish you would say yes.”

“I don’t care”

When children say “I don’t care”, nine times out of ten they do care. The phrase becomes armor for their disappointment, embarrassment, fear or sadness.

Don’t take it at face value. Prompt them to open up about what is truly upsetting them. Assist them in finding the words to describe how they really feel. Honesty will help them gain confidence, emotional awareness, and close family ties.

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Beaches are paradise

We spent our first full day in Cancun lounging on the beach. I’ll never forget stepping on the soft, white sand and listening to the gentle waves. We sat under a cabana and sipped icy margaritas for hours, only venturing into the crystal clear water every now and then. Watching my husband impress our beach chair neighbors with his sandcastle creation while I read a novel in the shade was heaven.

Incredible snorkeling opportunities

Neither my husband nor I are very good snorkelers, but we still took a tour of the MUSA Underwater Museum. Floating above vibrant coral reefs, we marveled at tropical fish and whimsical statues that seemed surreal until they moved. I heard him laugh out loud underwater once when a school of fish darted right between us! It felt like we had discovered something secret; snorkeling was one of our favorite activities in the whole trip.

Luxurious spa treatments

We treated ourselves to a couples massage after three days in the sun. Our masseuses used ancient Mayan traditions and worked hot oil and aromatic herbal packs into our skin. As I lay listening to the waves, I almost fell asleep. We soaked up the sunset in the spa’s garden afterward, sipping hibiscus tea and feeling rejuvenated.

Adventure at Xcaret Park

We spent a whole day at Xcaret, a mega eco-theme park. Tubing through underground river caves was magical; surrounded by towering stalactites with aqua-blue water flowing beneath us. My husband was obsessed with jumping off of things on the rock-climbing course, while I fell in love with the butterfly sanctuary. The night show was full of lights, music, dancing and history that had us cheering for ages.

Delicious Mexican cuisine

We ventured outside of the resort zone one night and found this quaint restaurant in the heart of downtown. It was a tiny place, with colorful walls and the smell of homemade tortillas hanging in the air. My husband ordered cochinita pibil and tacos al pastor, while I opted for that mound of guacamole we both ended up putting on our plates. There was this sweet older lady that came out from the kitchen to say hello to us. When we told her the food was delicious, she beamed at us like we made her day.

Day trips to Cenotes

Swimming in a cenote had been a dream of mine for years. When we finally took the plunge, it was better than I could have imagined. We drove to Cenote Ik Kil, which is a giant sinkhole surrounded by jungle. My husband isn’t great with jumping off of cliffs, so he hung back timidly before taking the leap. Once he sank underwater, his face was the picture of happiness when he resurfaced. The cenotes are so clear and we spent hours swimming and playing in the water.

Sunset Catamaran Cruise

On our last night there, we booked a sunset catamaran cruise. As soon as we departed from shore and headed into the ocean, the sky transformed into pinks and oranges I’ve never seen. We clinked champagne glasses together and watched as the sun dipped below the water, listening to instrumental tunes. We sat there together in comfortable silence, taking in the beauty and thanking the universe for our wonderful trip.

Snorkeling at Puerto Morelos reef

I highly recommend avoiding the crowds of snorkeling tours by visiting Puerto Morelos. Only a 20-minute drive from Cancun, this small fishing village offers a reef that’s designated a protected marine reserve. We snorkeled in our own little slice of paradise, dodging vibrant coral and schools of tropical fish. We even got to see a sea turtle in its natural habitat. It was so serene, and we felt like we had the entire ocean to ourselves.

Visiting a local cenote in the jungle

Instead of visiting crowded cenotes recommended by our resort, we stopped by a local guide who pointed us in the direction of Cenote Verde Lucero. Tucked away in the jungle, this cenote felt like our own private slice of heaven. We swam for hours exploring the crystal clear water and took turns jumping in on the zipline that drops you straight into the water. It was amazing and we didn’t want to leave!

Exploring the Mercado 23

You can visit one of the fancy food courts at your resort, but we ventured out and stumbled upon Mercado 23 in Cancun. It wasn’t all expensive like most tourist traps but rather filled with locals shopping for fresh fruit, spices, and handmade crafts. We stopped and ate some street tacos, and my husband still raves about the pork tacos we had (chicharrón). They were seriously the best tacos we’ve ever had.

Taking a cooking class with a local chef

We discovered a small cooking demonstration hosted by a local family. This was definitely one of my favorite parts of the trip. We learned how to make cochinita pibil (slow-roasted pork) as well as homemade tortillas from scratch. The best part was eating together afterwards, laughing and bonding with our chefs over stories.

Kayaking in the Nichupte lagoon

While most travelers stick around on the beaches of Cancun, we ventured off into the mangroves of Nichupte Lagoon. Renting kayaks, we paddled through turquoise waters and lush greenery. We even spotted some pink flamingos flying overhead. It was such a calm respite from the normal crowds of the beach.

Watching the sunset at Playa Delfines

Playa Delfines is one of the less crowded beaches in Cancun and we instantly fell in love with it. We grabbed a blanket, some snacks, and sat down to watch the sunset. It wasn’t anything fancy or staged. Just us watching the sunset as the sky turned orange and pink. Moments like that are why we love traveling together.

Touring a family-owned tequila distillery

Rather than joining a big tequila tasting tour, we decided to take a tour of a small family-owned distillery. The owner explained to us the entire tequila-making process and we even sampled some special batches not available in the store. The aejo was my husband’s favourite. It was so smooth we brought a bottle home with us.

Taking a bike ride around Isla Mujeres

We took a ferry over to Isla Mujeres and rented bikes to explore the island at our leisure. There was so much to see, from secret beaches to street art. We ended our bike ride by stopping at a small café for some freshly made ceviche. We enjoyed our lunch outside, letting the ocean air cool us off after our bike ride.

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Desert safari in style

We booked a private desert safari, and it was like stepping into a film. A modern Land Rover whisked us away from the hotel and out to the golden sands. Sunset was spectacular, and we had a delicious dinner in a small camp. Imagine sitting under a canopy of stars with live music, traditional dance and henna artists. My husband even tried sandboarding, which resulted in a hilarious tumble!

Dinner at the Burj Al Arab

I’ve always wanted to dine at one of the world’s most expensive hotels, and Burj Al Arab did not disappoint. For dinner, we went to their underwater-themed restaurant called Al Mahara. We ate divine seafood while sitting in the middle of a humongous aquarium. I couldn’t stop staring at all of the fish swimming by as we enjoyed a glass of wine.

A sky-high view at the Burj Khalifa

The Burj Khalifa observation deck was on our must-see list. We booked the VIP experience, which included getting past the queues and sipping champagne at the top. The view from the 148th floor was amazing. My husband took some amazing pictures, but let’s face it, no camera could do it justice. It was a surreal experience to watch the city light up at night.

Yacht cruise on the Arabian Gulf

We took a yacht around the Dubai waterfront one morning, and it was glorious. Our captain and crew treated us like kings, offering us drinks and snacks while we sailed by landmarks such as the Palm and Atlantis. I’ll never forget lounging on the deck soaking up the sun and feeling like we were in a Bond film.

Watching the sunset at the Aura Skypool

Sunset watching at the Aura Skypool was probably the most relaxing and indulgent thing my husband and I did while in Dubai. Lying in the highest 360-degree infinity pool in the world, taking in views of Dubai’s skyline, the Palm Jumeirah, and the Arabian Gulf was surreal. Watching the sun set behind the horizon and turn the sky shades of orange and pink was absolutely breathtaking. We spent hours swimming up and down and enjoying everything this place had to offer.

Luxury shopping at the Dubai Mall

Dubai’s mall is not your typical mall. It’s a Universe. We spent an entire day there! We started at the upscale retail shops such as Chanel and Louis Vuitton, enjoyed lunch ( wagyu sliders ) at a boutique cafe that featured sweeping views of the Dubai Fountain and spent the afternoon at the indoor ice skating rink and enjoying a private movie. It felt like Disneyland for adults.

Hot air balloon ride over the desert

For this sunrise hot air balloon ride, we woke up really early. But it was so worth it. There’s nothing like soaring over the desert at sunrise in a hot air balloon. It was mind-blowing to think we were above these massive sand dunes that went on for miles. After the ride, we enjoyed breakfast in the desert, which included smoked salmon and fresh pastries.

Pampering at a five-star spa

On our final day, we booked a couples’ treatment at the Talise Ottoman Spa. Walking in felt like we were entering an Arabian palace, complete with marble, mosaics & gold. The hammam experience was heavenly. We were so refreshed after that we went for a couple of more hours of resting in their relaxation areas.

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Her self-worth is not up for negotiation

Your daughter must know that her value as a human being cannot be earned or lost. It doesn’t rise or fall with her weight, her GPA, dating status or number of followers.

When your girl knows her value can’t be diminished, she won’t tolerate disrespectful behavior from others. She won’t allow herself to be treated as a second option.

She can say “no” without feeling guilty

Girls are trained from a young age to be polite, accommodating and passive; sometimes even when it inconveniences them or puts them in danger. Teaching her that “no” does not need to be qualified with an explanation, apology, or shaky anecdote will be one of the most empowering lessons you give her.

Whether she’s turning down a drunk guy at a party or setting her boundary with a boyfriend, her comfort is more important than anyone else’s ego.

Trusting her gut instinct can save her life

That quiet, uncomfortable feeling in the bottom of her stomach is her body’s instinct warning her of danger before her brain can consciously register it. Teach her to never, ever dismiss that voice in her head because she doesn’t want to make a scene or be rude.

If anywhere, with anyone, ever something feels wrong, she can walk away right then and there, no questions asked.

True friends build each other up in secret

Real friendship consists of lifting each other up, keeping each other safe and supporting each other for real, not competing or gossiping about each other. True friends celebrate her wins when she isn’t there and stick up for her when she can’t hear it.

The sooner she learns the difference between those who have her back and those who only like her when it’s convenient, the less heartache and drama she’ll experience.

Failure is just information, not an identity

Failure at something doesn’t mean she’s a failure at life. Failure is bound to happen when she tries new things. If she sees failure as feedback instead of judgment, she will develop true grit.

As long as she doesn’t fear failure, she will take smart chances and dream big.

Her body belongs entirely to her

She needs a strong, consistent knowledge about body autonomy and consent. She should respect herself and expect others to respect her.

She should know that she is always in control of who touches her body, what she wears, how she cares for herself physically, and no one else ever gets to take that control from her.

Mistakes are easier to fix when shared early

All teens make bad decisions. They get into tricky driving predicaments, stay out past curfew or make stupid mistakes online.

She has to know that coming to you right away (even when she’s wrong) will never lead to yelling. It will always lead to you making sure she’s safe first. When she has that safe place to land, minor mistakes won’t become major catastrophes.

Social media is a highlight reel, not real life

Youthful girls can dangerously compare their unedited real lives to the perfect photos of others online. Continuously remind her that people only post what they want others to see.

Keeping this idea in mind will safeguard her mental health and stop her from aspiring to unrealistic filtered lives.

Basic financial skills equal freedom

Knowledge about money is one of the best foundations for independence that you can teach her. Prior to the age of 16, she should know how to budget, how to open a savings account, how to keep track of her spending, and understand the basics of how you earn and save money.

If you teach her financial literacy, you will teach her that she will never have to depend on someone else to provide for her and her needs.

Apologizing requires courage and accountability

A heartfelt apology doesn’t mean that you are weak; it means that you are emotionally healthy and strong. When you teach her to say “I was wrong, I am sorry, and this is how I will fix it,” you teach her accountability.

Knowing how to apologize without excuses teaches her how to heal wounded hearts and how to have meaningful, trusting relationships her whole life.

How to take care of her basic physical needs

To be independent, she has to know how to take care of herself when you can’t be there.

She needs to know how to prepare a few healthy, well-balanced meals from scratch. She should know how to do basic laundry, check her car’s tire pressure and oil level, and give first aid.

Learning these types of home skills will make you feel more confident on a day-to-day basis.

Being kind is not the same as being a target

Kindness, empathy, and compassion are amazing qualities to have. However, she should never mistake those for allowing others to run all over her. She can be warm and giving yet still have strong and defined boundaries.

Real strength comes from being kind to others while never letting anyone take advantage of her or demean how she feels about herself.

Romantic partners should complement her life, not complete it

Her sense of happiness and self should never rely on a boyfriend. He should be an addition to her already wonderful life, giving happiness, support, and companionship.

She will never settle down for less or lose sight of who she is to make someone else feel better about themselves.

Her voice deserves to be heard in any room

Teach her to speak up, ask questions, and express her opinion confidently at home, school, and in public.

Her voice matters, and she should never feel like she needs to apologize for occupying space or having an opinion that is backed by careful thought. She will use that confidence to ace interviews and lead teams through hardships.

How to disconnect and enjoy her own company

Notifications, messages, and social buzz flashing all around us can make spending time alone feel like a superpower. She needs to learn how to embrace being alone and not lonely.

Teach her how to find peace in silence and use that time to reflect, engage in creative hobbies, read or unwind her mind from social media and fear of missing out.

Her future is worth protecting

Every choice she makes today can impact her future, from friends she chooses to hang out with, to social media posts, to staying focused in school, to choices in relationships.

Teach her to think long term; don’t just live for today. She doesn’t need to be perfect, but she should guard her future, her reputation, and her dreams.

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Coffee is meticulously hand-picked

One morning, we toured a coffee farm outside Salento and pitched in with the harvest. The workers loaned us baskets and taught us how to only pick the ripest, reddest cherries. It’s hard work hopping around hillsides in the sun, and we didn’t fill half a basket in an hour. These farmers do that every hour, all day long, swiftly and meticulously. Drinking coffee afterwards knowing we picked some of the cherries for that batch? Extraordinary.

The altitude shapes the flavor

Our drive to two different coffee farms took us to a range of elevations. The higher up we went, the more variation we noticed in the coffee. On a mountain-top estate not too far from Manizales, the coffee we sampled was light and fruity with citrus undertones. Further down the mountain, the beans tasted richer and more nutty. One farmer explained that colder temperatures at higher altitudes cause the coffee plants to grow more slowly, producing a bean with more flavor.

The cherry-to-cup process

I was mesmerized watching coffee beans go from fruit to caffeine-filled delights we know and love. On one farm outside of Armenia, we followed the entire process from fruit to bean, even allowed to grind the roasted coffee beans by hand. My husband thought he had it. The farmer laughed at his amateur attempt at a grind. “It’s harder than it looks,” he said, taking the crank back from my hubby.

Coffee tastes best without milk or sugar

My husband and I used to drink our coffee swimming in milk and sugar. Colombia changed all that. At a coffee tasting in Bogotá, our host asked us not to add sugar or milk so we could taste the coffee’s natural sweetness and flavor. One tasted of red berries; another had hints of caramel. It was so delicious I didn’t even miss sugar! My husband, who loves sugar in his coffee, was slow to convert. But after learning about the process and tasting coffee across the country, he surrendered by the trip’s end.

Coffee can be fermented for unique flavors

We drank coffee fermented with passion fruit in a hip Medellín café. It sounds strange, but the end result was phenomenal: a subtle tropical sweetness balanced with the natural acidity of the beans. The coffeemakers in Colombia, we heard, are starting to adopt experimental fermentation as part of their craft, a new angle on the old tradition.

Tinto isn’t fancy, but it’s everywhere

It turns out Colombians really love tinto, a small, simple cup of black coffee. Our first taste of tinto was from an old man scooping brown liquid from a massive thermos into Styrofoam cups. We watched entranced as he rang up orders on his cash register, then sprinkled powdered milk and sugar onto the caffeinated liquid. It was rich and a little sweet, and hit the spot. Colombians drink tinto all day long.

Coffee farms are committed to sustainability

These farms were small-scale, most of them family-owned. One welcomed us into their backyard, eager to show us how they utilized every resource to create sustainable coffee. They compost coffee pulp leftover from production and use solar power to dry the beans. When we asked what made them different, the owner smiled proudly. “We’re not making coffee for now,” he said. “We’re producing for our kids.”

Coffee tastes better when brewed slowly

We sat down to enjoy our coffee at a cafe in Cartagena and were entranced by our barista’s pour-over technique. She slow-stepped us through how the process drew out the coffee’s subtle flavors. We tasted. It was amazing. So smooth, so full of flavor, yet there was no bitterness! My husband tried it at home after the trip, determined to recreate it. After three tries, he tossed the grounds in the trash. “I think I’ll stick to French press,” he laughed.

You can drink coffee at night without regrets

On a night stroll through Medellín, we stopped into a cafe for dinner. After dessert, our waiter offered us coffee. We both hesitated. In the U.S., we’d never dream of drinking coffee that late. But not only is Colombian coffee grown differently, but it also has less caffeine than the beans we’re used to. Sold, we each ordered a hot cup and sipped it as we watched the city nightlife. It was rich, decadent, relaxing. We slept great that night.

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